Save this moment...

Do you ever have a moment that you wish you could save and keep forever?

I had one today.  Life is so funny.  Sometimes just the right thing happens at just the right time.

I haven't been feeling "pretty" lately.  I don't know what it is, think I'm just in a weird phase... I'm working on my body, my skin, my hair...trying to reverse any damage I've done in the past little while.  I don't feel radiant and I'm certainly not my best physical self.

Sometimes I think we radiate energies that others subconsciously pick up on.  At least that's what I tell myself.  Someone can say something or do something that is so small, yet so impactful, without ever realizing how they've touched another person's life, but somehow, it was meant to be.

Today I was standing at a crosswalk waiting to cross the street and go to the grocery store.  I had just hopped out of a shower, hair still wet and unstyled, with no absolutely no makeup on.  I had thrown  on a pair of jeans and a loose fitting tank top with some old flip flops and jetted out the door without even looking at myself.  Did I feel pretty?  Absolutely not.  In fact, I felt unnoticeable.  At the crosswalk I was thinking of everything but my physical appearance.  What did I need to buy?  How much money do I have?  How many lunches do I need to make?  What else do I have to do tonight...  In a daze, my eyes wandered until I noticed a man in his car staring right at me.  I quickly looked away and pretended to check something on my phone (because apparently that's how I deal with uncomfortable situations).  When I looked up again, and he was still staring.  This time he looked at me with recognition, as if he knew me.  I guess he saw my puzzled reaction, so he started to smile.  I was still trying to figure out if I knew him when he gestured for me to smile back.  Without noticing, I found the corners of my mouth curling up and my cheeks bunching into a smile.  It was confirmed - I did not know this man.  He gave me a thumbs up and I could see he was laughing a little to himself.  I smiled wider.  Then he mouthed the words very slowly, "You. Are. Beautiful" with a huge grin on his face.  My eyes shifted downward with a little embarrassment, I was nowhere near what I thought looked beautiful. When I looked up again he was still smiling.  I mouthed the words back "Thank you", blushing like a schoolgirl.  We maintained eye contact for another few seconds, when suddenly the light changed and he drove off.  I was left on the side walk, with a foolish smile on my face while my heart melted.

*save this moment*

That's all I could think to myself.

*don't forget this, ever*

I wish I could have captured that moment so I could watch it again and again.  It felt so innocent...so honest...so beautiful.  I have no idea who the man was, but it doesn't matter.  At a time when I felt invisible, he made me feel like I was the only person standing on the earth.  He was a stranger, who looked into the eyes of another stranger, and touched her heart in a way that he'll never know.  

I wish I could thank him for giving me that moment.  I'm going to save it for as long as I can.

Hope you are all well :)

- Anjali
xoxoxo

When women bond...

I am fortunate to have very talented, smart, ambitious and empowering women in my life.  Friends, co-workers, family members... I am not sure what I have done to attract them, but they are near and dear and I feel very lucky.

I hosted a get together at my place tonight with 5 women who had never met before.  Each of them are smart and talented in their own way and bring unique personalities to the table.  I didn't imagine that they would not get along, after all, they are my friends and I know they are nice people...but certainly didn't expect the heightened level of comfort and openness that was experienced tonight.  Somehow what started off as a mud-mask party turned into the six of us sharing personal experiences and stories that were both helpful and relevant to each other.  Laughs were shared, giggles were heard, and contact information exchanged.  Above all of that, I am left with a feeling of joy and a positive energy radiating in my apartment.

In the moment it felt natural to see my friends, who I know and respect, getting along so well.  In hindsight I feel encouraged by these women.  In a time when woman-on-woman gossip and banter is so prevalent and competition over style, looks and success causes insecurity and hatred, I am so glad that the women in my life can rise above the nonsense and be their true, genuine selves at all times. They are confident, caring, curious and courteous.  They ask questions and raise alarms.  They say what they mean and mean what they say.  They network, help each other, and show interest in other people's lives.  When I see the personalities of my friends shine in social environments, I feel lucky.  They make me want to be more of my true self and to let my personality shine as well.  I drop my insecurities, lose my fears and feel safe and comfortable.  They allow me to feel wonderful in my own skin and to be proud of who I am. 

I wish more women were fortunate enough to have such empowering female friends in their lives.  We all deserve to be our best selves and to have people who can draw it out of us when we need it the most.  When women bond over true, genuine characteristics rather than gossip and insecurities, it can be an amazing, amazing thing.  I experience that first-hand, everyday. 

Thank you to all the amazing women in my life.  You rock.

- Anjali
xoxoxo

Recharged: My Introverted Weekend.

I've been weird lately.  The past six weeks has been a whirlwind leaving me feeling overwhelmed, tired, unproductive and over-committed.  I knew it was time for what I call an "introverted weekend".  I needed downtime to catch my breath, hangout with myself, and reflect on the past six weeks.  And that's exactly what I did. 
Saturday was spent cleaning my apartment, decluttering my closet, catching up with an old friend, and watching Drop Dead Diva.  I didn't open my calendar or agenda, I didn't look at a to-do list and certainly didn't check emails.  Now that I think of it, I didn't even leave my apartment.  I was totally anti-social and totally loving it. 
Sunday (today) was different.  I wanted to do something active but didn't feel like the gym or a run.  It was a gorgeous day in the city so I put on my best runners, some lulus and a ton of sunscreen, loaded my iPod with a new audiobook, and headed for a walk along Toronto's Harbourfront. 


I've never listened to an audiobook before, have you?  I am typically not an auditory learner, but I really don't make time for reading in my everyday life, so I figured I'd try some multi-tasking.  I ended up falling in love with the first few chapters of  Kelly McGonigal's The Willpower Instinct - How Self Control Works, Why it Works, and What You Can Do to Get More of It. 
I was surprised at how well I followed along.  Usually when I am left to listen without a visual, my mind wanders and I can't pay attention.  This was different - I got lost in the message as I was taking in the gorgeous day. 

There's so much activity along the Harbourfront on a hot summer day.  While I was sweating away, I couldn't help but feel envious of the boaters on the water.  I'm not talking about the big yachts, I'm thinking of the people in their tiny canoes and kayaks, the ones touching and feeling the water. 

This man made canoeing look effortless.  I was brought back to my childhood days at camp, where we spent hours in these tiny boats, paddling until our arms were exhausted, splashing water on our sun-burt arms and hands.  We'd sing songs and tell jokes as we paddled to our destination where we set up tents and roasted marshmallows on a self-made fire.  Experiences like that don't exist in my world anymore.  It was refreshing to go back there.

At about 7.5km and 1.5hrs into my audiobook, I stopped at a little spot on the water.

It was about time I stretched my hips and hamstrings - it's been a while since I've walked this kind of distance just for leisure and was really feeling it in my body. 

I can watch the water for hours.  But I sat for about 15 minutes before deciding to head back. 

On that homeward walk, my hips were tight and my feet were getting tired - I can't believe how out of shape I have let myself become.  But I powered through.  Perhaps listening to a book on Willpower made the journey easier?

When I got back to my starting point, I stopped by the Hot & Spicy Food Festival that was happening just behind my apartment building.  I grabbed myself some lunch, sat on a bench and people-watched for a good 20 minutes.

When I got home, I laid out a yoga mat and stretched my achey-ness away.  Shortly after, I showered and dressed then headed to my parents' to spend the rest of the day with my family.

I feel calm.  Rested.  Recharged.
This was my perfect introverted weekend.

Hope you all had a good one too :)

- Anjali
xoxoxo

How many shades of gray?

So, check this out:

Gray hair at the tender age of 27.  *le sigh*

I got it from my mama.  I started noticing a greater-than-normal amount of grays in my early 20's, but now it's gotten to a point where big patches are forming and I can no longer cover them up with highlights.  Also, I don't want highlights.

I've been asking the opinions of friends, co-workers, family and industry experts on the best solution for this.  Some friends and co-workers suggested that gray hair is "cool", "natural" and "adds character".  On the other hand, hair dressers and family have said "you are way too young to have this kind of gray hair, cover that sh!t up".  I even asked celebrity hair stylist Eric Del Monaco and he said there's no way I should be walking around with so much gray at my age.  Apparently I am not old enough to rock the Stacy London stripe.  And, even if I was, that stripe is oftentimes more high maintenance than regularly dying my hair black.

 

I have to agree that the gray hair makes me look a little disheveled and unkept.   I often notice people staring and wonder what they are thinking...  that girl needs to dye her hair... how old is she?... it looks kinda cool... how unprofessional....who knows?

Needless to say, I have come to terms with the fact that I will need to dye my hair every 6 weeks for the rest of my life...or at least until I decide to grow out the grays.

It was suggested that I alternate dying the roots and dying my whole head, that way the colour will stay fresh and consistent.  All I can think about is how much this is going to cost me.  I definitely can't afford to go to a salon every six weeks, so I'll be doing it at home for the most part.  I know there's controversy around the supposed toxic chemicals found in hair dye.  I will need to do some digging to find the safest, purest dyes for at-home use.  Please leave a comment below if you have any suggestions!  

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I am really bad with hair maintenance.  I don't really take care of it the way I should so by the time it's long, it tends to be dry and over-styled.  In an attempt to be nicer to my locks, I am going to not only commit to this plan to dye my hair every 6 weeks, but also trim it every 12 weeks.  I had just about enough of the damage I had done, so a few weeks ago (if you haven't already noticed) I got a cut: 

Before | After  

It feels much thicker and healthier, but I miss my longer hair, so I vow to keep the maintenance momentum going from here.
If you ever catch me with visible grays, please give me a nudge and remind me of this post, and let's never speak of grays again.

- Anjali
xoxoxo

Coral wins. Always. And an unintentional note about parabens.

First of all, when did it become July?  Secondly, who else is cringing in this summer heat wave?  Third, why is coral the best shade ever?

I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post.  Man, time flies.  Luckily we are connected through Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, right?  :)  *end of shameless plug*

I've been hesitant to wear a lot of makeup these days because truthfully, by the time I get to work (which is only a 12 minute walk from my apartment) I am sweating and anything I have attempted to put on my face has melted off.  Well not literally, but when it's bloody hot the last thing I want to do is wear anything on my face.  I am even finding glasses irritable.

Anyway.  There must have been something weird in the air today because I decided to do my face up...a little.

In the summer, bronzes and corals are my absolute favourite.  I find myself gravitating toward the NARS Super Orgasm liquid Illuminator.  Have you tried this yet?  It's a sheer highlighter with a golden-coral tint.  I think it's spectacular.

For a natural look, all you need is the illuminator to brighten up your face.  But of course, we all know how much I love blush, so I typically dust on a healthy does of NARS Torrid blush to make it a little more dramatic.


I love putting a blush on top of an illuminator - it creates a really pretty glow, that especially stands out in the sun.  There's no sun in this picture, but you can get an idea of the "glow" effect: 

What's that on the lips, you ask?  It's CoverGirl's Blash Flipstick in Stunner.  The Flipstick is quite cute - it's a two-shades-in-one kinda tube with a pigmented shade on one end and a shimmer on the other.  Today, I wore the darker orange/coral first and topped it up with the golden shimmer.

I have to admit, lately I've been trying to learn about cosmetics ingredients.  When I Googled the list for this lipstick, I found that it contains propylparaben.  Meanwhile, the NARS blush contains methylparaben, propylparaben and butylparaben.

For those who don't know, parabens are chemical preservatives that are often used in cosmetics to increase shelf life.   There is a ton of controversy around the use of parabens in our products because they have been linked to breast cancer and increases in estrogen production.  Of the four main types of parabens, propylparaben has been labelled the safest one, and companies claim to use a negligible amount.

Before I go further, this my DISCLAIMER: this information is based on my own research - I don't claim to be an expert, therefore I am not confirming nor denying the safety or dangers of parabens.

There is a allowable level of parabens that companies can use in our cosmetics, so I assume that NARS and CoverGirl are at or below the standard.  Many people argue that the level of paraben in our makeup is so low, that we really don't need to worry.  My point of view: why take the risk?  If parabens are even remotely linked to cancer, I'd rather stop using products that contain them until it is proven that they are completely safe. 

Unfortunately I didn't bother to look up the ingredients until after I applied the makeup.  I wore it for the day, but I didn't re-apply the lipstick and I am thinking that I won't be using the blush anymore.  The illuminator didn't seem to contain any parabens.  That said, there are lot of fancy scientific names for ingredients listed on product labels - who knows what they really mean?!  I'm just at the beginning of my research, and so far parabens were the only controversial ingredient I could recognize - that's enough to influence me to not use the blush or lipstick again.  

Some of you don't and won't care.  Others are becoming more conscious.  I am on a path to cleaning up my lifestyle, and the items I put on and in my body are becoming more and more important.  I am not encouraging you to buy or not buy - to be honest I didn't even intend to write about this tonight!

At the end of the day, you make the decisions...I just know that I'd like to be more educated so I can be in control of what impacts my body.  Yes they look pretty, but at the risk of foreign ingredients entering my body and potentially harming me?  Honey, they ain't THAT pretty!  AND, we can always find cleaner, safer alternatives to the big name brands.  It's sad because I love NARS' blush shades, but really, I love my health a lot more. 
*sigh* and off we go to find a cleaner, safer coral blush that looks just as glowy and pretty as Torrid did!  Any suggestions?

Lastly, on a completely different topic, we can't end a post without an OOTD, right?  Here was today's - we've seen the top before ;)

And that was how I went about my day :)

Hope you are all good - if you have any comments, information, concerns about the use of parabens, I encourage you to share them below!  The more we know, the better the decisions we can make.

I missed blogging.  Be back soon!

- Anjali
xoxoxo